As summer travel heats up, make sure you keep up with the Joneses with these foolproof tips.
1. Buy luggage with a travel theme. Extra points if you bought it in another country. Additional points for every sticker of a country you add.
2. Spray paint it pink so it’s obnoxiously easy to spot.
3. Remove the wheels so you have to carry it like an Atlasian burden.
4. Pack everything in a briefcase and secure it shut with bungee cords. Who said moving a couch wasn’t similar to travel?
5. Bring back the handkerchief tied to a stick.
6. Steal a bag from baggage claim and take that on your trip. You never know what treasures lie inside!
7. Book a private jet just for your luggage.
8. Wear roller blades to match your roller bag.
9. Write a controversial message on it like “All dogs go to hell, and I help send them.”
10. Go for that round bag. Rolling around in the overhead compartment is an added perk, not a con.
11. Pack a bomb. Boom! Attention grabber.
12. Have a personalized picture on it. Make sure it is of a child, but definitely not your own. When asked “Is that your kid?”, stare the person in the eyes and say, “Not yet.”