Halloween may be the scariest day of the year, but modern dating is terrifying all year round. There's ghouls that don't match their profile pictures, tiresome trolls, spooky scammers, and plenty of ghosting.
To celebrate All Hallows' Eve, we're sharing 13 dating horror stories that will surely send shivers down your spine. Grab a bowl of candy and scoot to the edge of your seat cause these dating stories are downright mortifying.
#1. I went on a date with this girl. She ran a Taylor Swift fan account on Instagram. She also dyed her hair blonde like Taylor and told me she was wearing red lipstick because that’s what Taylor would do. She was a little too obsessed. And I didn’t want to be a guy in a breakup song.
#2. Around midnight on a lonely Saturday night, I matched with this girl over Tinder. We immediately hit it off and messaged back-and-forth all night before sharing our phone numbers to coordinate a date. But at sunrise, she stopped messaging. I dived into detective mode to find out more since I had her name and some basic information. Turns out she died 34 years ago... I was literally ghosted by a ghost. I'm not sure how she managed to have a Tinder profile or how she sent those ghostly nudes, but I still miss her.
#3. We met for a coffee date and he, deadass, ordered tea. WTF psychopath?!
#4. He wouldn't stop talking about his high school days and how he won "the big basketball game". We met at the park which was fine, but he brought a tennis ball and kept making me throw it. He also yelled at every squirrel that was nearby. I think he was a speciesist. Plus his profile picture was of a Doberman and he was definitely a Labrador Retriever.
#5. Dated a janitor for a few months. The issue was they kept sweeping around...
#6. I once went on a date with a guy who was way too into wax figurines. Our first date was at Madame Tussaud's. He told me I was great, but I couldn't hold a candle to his ex, or she would melt.
#7. So he totally rescheduled our first date, red flag number one. Then he asked for a dinner date on a Sunday, it just happened to be his Grandma's wake. I felt like such an asshole for being mad that he rescheduled, but also was so weirded out meeting his parents on the first date. Who brings a date to a wake?
#8. In the middle of a date, a girl asked me if I'd pay for her nose job one day. I thought she was testing me so I said, "No, you look beautiful and don't need one." She got super offended, got up and left. I guess I didn't pass the test.
#9. She asked me to meet her at a small theater that I had never heard of. When I got there, she said she'd be running a little late and that I should sit up front. It turned out to be an improv show that she was hosting. I was petrified!
#10. It was our 3rd or 4th date and I had mentioned my love of live concerts. She had an extra ticket to her "favorite band" that was in town so she invited me. It was at Northerly Island which I had never been to so I was super excited. But, I instantly regretted this decision when I met up with her and she was wearing a shirt with Chad Robert Kroeger's face on it... I had been tricked into attending a Nickleback concert.
#11. She invited me back up to her place after a really good date. I thought we were going to take the next step in our relationship. But it turns out, she just needed a second pair of hands to help bathe her hairless cat. He liked to fight back and I got scratched. Now we're married.
#12. Have you ever taken a date to an animal shelter? Total aphrodisiac. Bad news is I'm terrible at holding a conversation. This next date I'm expecting to adopt my 12th dog...
#13. We met for lunch and she mentioned that she majored in biology. Because of her passion for the human body, she had a goal of collecting every organ and displaying them starting with her friend's appendix. Then she asked if I'd like to contribute a kidney. I noped right outta there. I'm trying to give away my heart to someone special, not science.