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Golden Retriever Athletically Upstages Awkward Preteens


Rarely seeing crowds in the double digits, The Fighting Canines of Rover Cleveland Middle School, don't know how to handle their newfound popularity. However, they do know who to thank for it; Fido McGoodboy.


Fighting Canines' head coach, Bob Athens, expected yet another ruff season. "We got lucky this year," comments Athens, "Fido's so selfless and loyal to the team." McGoodboy's teamwork isn't the only things earning him extra-long belly rubs after practice, it's his raw talent. "He's the definite alpha of the team. He's marked his territory in the school record books," sighed acne-ridden teammate, Sheldon Jones.


His notoriety has grown as college recruits have started to populate the halls of Rover Cleveland. Athens says, "In my 21 winless seasons at RCMS, I've never had the hope of coaching a player destined for the NBA." Fido's heroic season is proving to everyone on the team that anything is paws-ible. Upon questioning McGoodboy, a squirrel ran by and the interview promptly ended.


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