Honey, you think life is short? Try walking a mile in my shoes. Oh that's right, you can't even find my shoes because I'm on a morning jog running down the coastline powered by the glorious bean that fuels my organs! Who? Me? Yeah, I guess you could say I'm an absolute coffee FREAK.
Listen babe, you couldn't keep up with me even if you tried.
There's no point in slowing down a coffee nut such as myself because if the world moves fast, I'm moving faster. And hey, no cause for alarm, there's plenty of average Joe's such as yourself, you just have to keep in mind that I drink a cup of Joe when I get out of bed. I'm slurping you up!
You think I'm bad now? You should see me without my coffee. To see something as DISPICABLE as that would be to see GOD in chains. I'd think twice if I were you when choosing to speak with ME. Maybe it's time we bring you down a notch. Show you what it's like in the gutter, where all the drippings pool together and you're stuck with leftover wet coffee grounds. Meager feedings fallen from MY bounty. Or how about I give you a taste of decaf? All the flavor without the FUEL. You peasant, turn and run. I can't waste another word for the likes of you.