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Wait A Second, They Spin Those Things? Asks Man Enthralled By Rotisserie Chicken


Chicago, IL--You know how they say that you might not want to eat something after you've seen how it's made? Well that just isn't the case for rotisserie chickens. Each step that's taken to make a perfectly cooked rotisserie chicken only further hypnotizes and subdues both the chef, and whichever innocent passerby happens to bare witness to the titillating process. Just ask Dustin Dixon, a Chicago local who refuses to leave his local Mariano's. Dustin walked into Mariano's early February 2nd hoping to buy some creamer for his coffee. "I don't actually use creamer in my coffee," he says while standing in the deli next to the hot bar and the bakery section, "but my wife Deborah does. I noticed we were out of creamer this morning, so I figured I'd grab some before she wakes up. I want her to start her day on the right foot, yuh know?"


Though Dixon's actions might come from a place of love, unfortunately, he has yet to follow through. "Yeah I'd like to make it home, but like--"He gestures towards the deli counter. On the other side is a giant chrome industrial oven. It's giving off a small orangish glow through the windows. It's covered in minor grease stains and a red light that reads "cooking in progress" is illuminated while a few workers walk back and forth behind the counter carrying various dishes or fulfilling orders for other customers. "Have you ever seen anything like it?" Dixon asks, slightly quivering in his voice. "I had no idea." He stops and stares at the ground. "In my forty-five years of living I had no idea."


Dixon plans on closing out the grocery store and trying again tomorrow, though he said he isn't sure yet. I'm sure Deborah will understand!

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