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United Kingdom Deports All Elizabeths After Rough Couple Months

Updated: Oct 25, 2022


London, United Kingdom--In a move that upset no one, the United Kingdom Parliament agreed unanimously to deport all citizens helming the name Elizabeth. "It's for the good of the crown" said one father as he watched his daughter step past security at London's Heathrow airport. "She'll do alright, and if she doesn't then hopefully she'll ruin some other countries economy. I bought her a ticket for Costa Rica, they use crypto there." Another couple was seen putting their infant child in a basket and shoving her down the River Thames. "This'll build character" they agreed. "We should've named her after her grandmother, Hester, but then she'd carry the same disgrace as that girl from The Scarlet Letter. You really can't win these days."


All remaining citizens were given a free pint at their local pub.

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