NEW YORK, NEW YORK--On Wednesday, March 10th, 2021, New York Philharmonic Conductor, Jaap van Zweden, was incapacitated after eating one too many oysters at a Wednesday Night Free For All Oyster Fest in Kips Bay. He initially planned to lead his orchestra in a lovely rendition of Rossini's "The Barber of Seville" but unfortunately had to call a taxi home in order to lay on his couch and sleep off the multiple pounds of oyster he managed to suck down.
This left the New York Philharmonic in a state of disarray as they realized their fearless leader was no longer standing on stage, but actually, passed out, mouth pointed towards bucket.
Thankfully, Tud Stumbles was in the audience as the first chair violinist went up to a microphone and asked if there was any last minute conductors in the building. Tud, a man who always says yes, stood up from his chair and exclaimed "yes!"
He was immediately rushed to the stage and asked to conduct Rossini's famous masterpiece. Unfortunately the only song he was prepared to play was Edvard Grieg's "Hall of the Mountain King."
People are still questioning whether this evening was a success, or a complete disaster.
