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Keith Miller

Souls Of The Damned Expected To Pay More To Ferry Across River Styx As Fuel Prices Rise


HADES, UNDERWORLD--Early this morning, May 11th, 2021, Charon the Ferryman, son of Erebus and Nyx, said during an onsite interview that the dead will soon be paying more in order to cross over from the waking world to the underworld. "It costs about one obul in regular times, but these are trying times. An obul just doesn't cut it anymore." Charon said while he painted the words 2 OBULUS on a wooden sign.


"If you look at the freight market you'll find that there's actually not enough drivers to move anything. Pretty soon the price to haul goods will sky rocket." Charon looked across the River Styx and began to offer insight into how this effects his job. "You see, I put in a hefty amount of manual labor when I cross this here river. I also have a vast knowledge on these waters and I know how it flows. An obul hardly covers costs. Let alone the need to buy gasoline for the motor I've attached to the back." Charon was dressed in a yellow fisherman's suit with black rubber galoshes. There was a long line leading up towards his boat. At the dock sat his dingy tied up, resting in the waters. Little waves splashed as hands crept out of the water and faces with hallowed out eyes looked up from underneath. "Pretty soon the price is going to rise from one obul to two." Charon continued to explain that he isn't worried. "Every single person on the planet will need to be ferried across this river, if they don't then they'll just end up swimming in it."


"Most people arrive here with an obul in their mouths. It's okay to put 'um on your eyes though, like a pirate." Charon walked towards the water and began untying the boat. "I've got customers coming. Price is still sitting at one obul so I gotta ferry those paying the fee while I can. Soon it just won't meet the cost." Wow, a day in the life, am I right?

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