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  • Writer's pictureChewe

New Prescription Pill Set To Get Your Soul Erect

Updated: Jun 3, 2022

Gone are the days where we wait for that special someone to arise and come into our lives. Pfizer, the makers of a modern vaccine, have also been venturing into the specter market. Urban legend has long held that you could not get a man so erect that he felt it in his soul, but the claims may be broken.

Breaking early yesterday morning, Henry Jenkins, aged 82, claimed to have seen his soul pitch a tent fully stocked with sleeping bags and firewood. Coincidentally, Mr. Jenkins had passed late the night before. Whether this pill brought him back to life or woke his soul is hotly debated.


The FDC is still deciding if these boner pills are intended for the living or the dead. The trials are set to begin May 2022. If you would like to be part of the trials, please email jenkins-jerking-jury@aol.com for more details.


We will update as more new comes.



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