Like the rest of you, I too have been franticly slamming my head against the pavement as I wait for Nevada to give us respite from the endless cycle of news updates and blue screen LED displays of dread and meaningless statistics. It’s been a grueling two days and I’ve unfortunately run out of finger nails to chew on. I’m considering picking up smoking as a jest to get me through this new period in American history which could be known as “The Great Divorce.”
But let me tell you, I’m chipper as ever because just this morning a talking dog asked me to prom.
Color me flattered and get me a spray tan while you’re at it because this tall glass of water has himself a date with an English Mastiff named Doug.
If you need sometime away from your phone, or if you’re hearing endless chatter from CNN, then I highly suggest meeting a talking dog. Maybe they’ll ask you out for dinner, or take you to a drive in movie. Anything’s better than what’s happening on TV.