Updated: May 6, 2022
PELLA, IA--At a public ceremony that can only be described as disappointing, small town Mayor of Pella Iowa, Don DeWaard, had to make a quick phone call to a local locksmith company after realizing that he misplaced the honorary Key to the City. Locksmith Judd Keyhole arrived roughly 30-45 minutes later with a lock picking kit and an initial service fee of $45, "though prices may vary depending on how difficult the lock is." The ceremony was being held for a local golden retriever named Biscuit who heroically saved 13 children from a burning carnival. Mayor DeWaard was charged $50 for the locksmith's services, $45 for arriving to the ceremony and only $5 for unlocking "an extraordinarily easy lock." Biscuit, the heroic golden retriever, is still excited to one day receive the honorary key the city of Pella, Iowa. Though bystanders have reported that he might have accidently swallowed it as he was seen roaming around City Hall last night chewing on various objects. We hope to find out if he's passed it through his system in the following days.
While unlocking the door to the city, Locksmith Judd Keyhole announced that he's running for Mayor with Biscuit the Dog as his campaign manager. Both Judd and Biscuit have a fascination for keys and promise the citizens of Pella Iowa that their city will be safe and secure. Mayor Don DeWaard's term expires in December of 2023.