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Local Blogger Struggles to Write Quality Headline Due to Headline Section Being Limited To 100 Chara

Updated: May 6, 2022

cters This has obviously never happened to me, but it seems to be a big problem for young startup writers who are trying to break into the scene and be noticed by bigger websites like The Onion or Clickhole. Wix, a free blogging server that allows people to start their own website free of charge, limits their content creators by only allowing their headline section to contain 100 characters. This isn't a big deal if you truly know your craft and can create compelling content in as few words as possible, but if you're somebody who's just starting out, this could prove to be a big hindrance. In fact, I created a Wix account for the sole purpose of conducting research for this article. I copied and pasted a few recent headlines from Clickhole and a lot of them don't even fit in Wix's headline section. This could prove troublesome if you're using Clickhole as a standard for modern absurdist comedy. If you want your voice to resonate with both their content and The Onions content, it'll be difficult at times to match their standard. Here are some wholly original headlines that can't fit the 100 character format:

  • Try Again, Dumbass: This Kid Just Brought Home a Pet Rock After His Parents Told Him He Can't Have a Dog, as if that's the Same Fucking Thing

  • Typical: Senator Mitch McConnell Just Arrived At the Capitol Building in a Comically Small Car filled to the Brim with his Entourage of Clowns

  • You and Me Both, Brother! This Suburban Dad isn't an Alcoholic, he just loves Being Drunk and getting High Off the fumes of Freshly Cut Grass

Obviously, when working through the creative process, you can jot these ideas down and attempt to reword them, or return to them after taking a break. You might be able to edit them in a way that allows the sense of humor to remain present while reducing word count. But sometimes your headline is funny because it's long and wordy. Reducing the word count might take away the entire point of the joke. Suddenly you just have a headline about Mitch McConnell getting to work on time with his friends. Or an article about someone's Dad getting sun poisoning while he lays in a big pile of grass clippings and his only motivation to get up is the thought of a refreshing, ice cold beer he left in the garage fridge. My heart goes out for these young writers who just want to bring a smile to the faces of their few readers. The writers who are working diligently to be noticed by the pros over at The Onion, Clickhole, or even Reductress. Don't worry, fellow content creators, I see you.

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