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Jesus Christ Cures Crippled Veteran So He Can Stand During National Anthem

Updated: May 6, 2022

Granville, WV - Minor League Baseball continues to keep things interesting this year as Jesus Christ, Son of God, descended from the heavens at Monongalia County Ballpark, home of the West Virginia Black Bears. Reports claim that Christ Incarnate, King of Kings, laid his hands on 89 yr old Veteran, Sam "The Clam" Daniels.

Daniels, who has been in a wheelchair since losing his legs in Korea (1953), was reported to have sprouted two young, healthy, African American legs when touched by Lord Jesus Christ Emmanuelle, Lamb of God. Daniels stood proudly on his two black feet for the Star Spangled Banner to tremendous applause from the fans.


The Anthem was sung by West Virginia Spelling Bee champion, Bhuvana Mahajan. Jesus, Son of Sons, Jew of Jews, Light of the World, ascended back into the heavens just as Mahajan was nailing the "Freeeeeeee" at the end.


The Black Bears lost to Mahoning Valley Scrappers 7-3.

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