I was already planning my trip to India in 2021 so that I could attempt to live my own Eat Pray Love. I would spend a few days in New Delhi and make my way south towards Chandrapur and recall moments from E.M Forster's acclaimed novel A Passage to India. On my way I'd stop at the Taj Mahal and take a photo, which would be published onto my horribly underutilized instagram account. You, the reader, would have a chance to view it and potentially like it. Maybe you'd comment something like "Hey Keith, you gunna Ma-haul any Taj Mahal souvenirs back to the states? Or is this wonderfully pleasant photo enough to satiate any desire you might have to relive your journey through the Indian countryside?" And I'd view your comment and sip my coffee with glee as I sat on a train headed to the Marabar foothills where I could finally explore the Marabar caves like the protagonists did in Forester's historic novel. I'd learn, much as I did when writing this very article, that the Marabar caves are a work of fiction, and that they're based off of a similar but different area--The Barabar Caves.
All of this could have happened, but unfortunately I spent my entire weekend playing Stardew Valley on my Nintendo Switch. I don't want to bore you with the details, I'm sure you've got a lot of other things on your mind, but I'd love to show you what I've been up to on my farm. It's called The Leeward Farm, my farmers name is Lumber, and his favorite thing on the entire planet is beans. He's made over $300,000 in profits and he has 5 chickens, two cows, a goat, a sheep, and a duck. His most sold crops are blueberries and cranberries. Somehow Lumber has taught me how to live with compassion, understanding, and empathy for everyone I meet. We should all take some time out of our day to be more like him. If you don't know how, then you can buy Stardew Valley for only $15! It's cheaper than buying a plane ticket to India, and it saves time as well. I got the entire Eat Pray Love experience in roughly 32 hours and my legs have only slightly atrophied. All I need now is for someone to take my Nintendo Switch and throw it at a moving train and then slap me as hard as they can across the face. If someone were to do that, then I'd probably buy them lunch.
Anyways, I'll probably post more soon, but until then I've got soil to till.
