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Have You Bought Your Ticket to Mars?

Updated: Feb 26, 2021

It's been talked about for ages. For a while it was promised by Elon Musk. As it turns out this space race had a victor that until recently was presumed dead. Who am I talking about? None other than the Star Ship #GME aka #GameStop.

While we left our childhood digital drug dealers behind and moved to online vendors, there they were - underground - biding time. Working countless ideas that would allow them to come back into the light. Alas, nothing worked, and they dug deeper looking for anything that may power their resurgence. The glorious Captain Melvin created an engine that perhaps could have broken back to the mundanity of land, but that was not the fate it was destined for. No, for there has been prophecy, circulated among the masses through covert means. “Financial prosperity is coming your way”, the method? Fortune cookies. Prophecy came to truth through the mystical fuel citronium. Years of reckless dumping by the institutions had seeped into the ground saturating the soil creating an unstable environment filled with explosive potential. It was then that the savants in the #WSB corp got to work, #tendies in hand, turning that into moon juice.

The initial thrust has brought this magnificent ship to the surface. A beacon, pointing to the stars. We all know moon juice isn’t for just sitting around on this gravity burdened rock. It's meant for the moon! Not just the moon in fact, the prophecy demands more, beyond to regions red, and not in the communist way. I hear the martians are planning a big barbeque in anticipation. Sources say they orchestrated the whole thing to throw an epic banger. So to Mars it is.

I don’t know about you but I can’t wait to sip my space martini. Wearing my Tux 3000 flight suit. Watching the pale blue dot fade as I pregame first contact.

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