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Happy spring I guess - Lazy bear wakes up from hibernation with no job and smells like piss.

Updated: May 6, 2022

Park officials are reporting that local grizzly bear is finally awake after a long 6 months of doing absolutely nothing. "It's just something bears do. They're able to conserve energy really well. Isn't Nature awesome?!", One park official told us. Others in the community were not as enthusiastic about the animals long vacation. Gene Glenshaw, who's lived in the in the forest for over a decade, did not hold back her opinions of the smelly beast. "I'm getting second hand embarrassment for him. If I have to go to work most days in January, then that lazy piece of shit should too!"

It's unclear where the bear is now. "Bears can run very fast so there's probably no use in going to look for him." Bear expert, Lucas Miller, tells us. According to Lucas, the bear is most likely just trying to find something to eat. Bear's diets can range from berries to large mammals, such as elk. We went on to ask if we were to find the bear, what should we offer him? To which Lucas responded, "under no circumstances should you ever feed wildlife. The less that bear is comfortable around humans the better." This advice of course was not enough to stop some local residents to set out in hopes of getting a glimpse of the big goofball. It's no question the bear eventually will be back to sleeping, but until then he's out having fun.

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