Scientists at Houston University have discovered new forms of gene modification that can alter your soul. They have successfully converted a convicted criminal on death row to "Saved in the eyes of God". The scientists’ methods have been controversial from the start, with initial testing conducted on prenatal infants and 1st gen Pokémon. Opponents have criticized the project, saying, "The Original Pokémon are canon and should not be messed with, no matter how mean Charizard was to Ash." Famous actor Danny DeVito was quoted as saying "Why wasn’t I included? My role as the Penguin was evil incarnate." The FCC and Swedish government are yet to weigh in on the findings.
We reached out to God for a comment, but did not receive a response (as usual…). Only time will tell what impacts this may have.
