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Facebook Outage Prompts World's Happiest Day Since Conception Of Comedy

Updated: Jun 3, 2022

Similar to owning a boat, the two greatest days for Facebook users is the day you make your Facebook account, and the day that Facebook shuts down entirely. Experts are saying that this sudden network failure has nothing to do with former Facebook product manager Frances Haugen appealing to a Senate subcommittee tomorrow to discuss unethical practice being performed via Facebook and Instagram, and has more to do with the fact that a bunch of Facebook executives just had a fun sleepover and watched Dead Poets Society. They were really moved by the part where Robin Williams stood up on the desks and said "Carpe Diem" a shit ton and urged one of the kids to kill himself. They all agreed that this is the exact same message Facebook has been trying to convey since it's conception, but, "no one has been able to say it quite like Robin Williams character John Keating," says Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg. "If you remember," Zuckerberg added, "this whole thing was created because I'm a misogynist."

There you have it folks! Facebook might actually be unethical. Hopefully we’ll find out tomorrow at Frances Haugen’s meeting at the Senate.

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