Colleges across the country were bombarded with major transfer applications this weekend after campus Frosh-men awoke to the political realities of the world. Many cited dreams of "ruling the world" as their main impetus for changing majors so early in their collegiate career. Others cited "Dick Cheney" as an inspiration for their new found interest, much to their best friends' chagrin.
While most of America is concerned by this, Washington is eating this up like the babies they've been accused of eating. Congress is in no shortage of old, aging, and senile adult humans. They hunger for fresh blood that is naive and wanting. They say this will be the greatest harvest in decades.
While some confuse Chuck Schumer for Bella Lugosi, he's actually just a man who missed his calling as a librarian; sitting behind a desk with his glasses always verging on the edge of jumping off his nose. Nancy on the other hand....unconfirmed. The Republicans have yet to offer up a roster of vampyre amongst their ranks, but early reporting from Vox show that the count is at least in the realm of 90% or greater. Democrats sit at 91% or greater, so we'll consider it a wash.