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  • Writer's pictureChewe

Cristiano Ronaldo Signs With U.S. Pee-Wee Soccer Team In Hopes of Finally Winning A Starting Role

CINCINNATI, OH - In a move that is sure to raise eyebrows, Portugal striker Cristiano Ronaldo inked a 7 year, $150 deal with local Ohio U-5 side Corryville Kiddy Cats. Ronaldo is a world renown soccer player, who at the age of 37, recently ended his contract with the well known English club Manchester United due to lack of starts and playing time.

Ronaldo was quoted as saying "playing with the Kiddy Cats is a major opportunity to boost my playing time and my brand. They offer something no European club has to offer: halftime orange slices and Capri Suns."

Christiano Ronaldo pictured here with one of his future Kiddy Cat teammates

The deal is expected to take effect for the Kiddy Cat's 2023 spring season. There are only 8 games scheduled this season, so it should be perfect for the aging superstar's conditioning. Last season, the Kiddy Cats finished dead last out of the 9 teams, picking up only 4 points on one win and a draw. Although it is early, Vegas betting lines have the Kiddy Cats winning the league, with betting lines at 8 wins and over 250 goals expected from Ronaldo.

Though it's likely to break the hearts of each and every young Kiddy Cat, Ronaldo seems to be here for a good time, not a long time. After what looked like a done deal in mid-December, a supposed contract with Saudi Arabian team Al-Nassr for $200 million a season turned out to be false. Market value for Ronaldo still remains high, with interest coming from multiple teams in the Cincinnati area.

The U-7 Mt. Auburn Tigers, a feeder team for the American university, is rumored to be gearing up for a transfer offer for the fall/spring season, with a contract in the range of $200, with the option to sign for the University at a later date. Ronaldo would need to take on college courses to push the transfer past the finish line. We will continue to keep you updated as this truly astonishing story develops.


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