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Call Me Old Fashioned But I'm Pissed Off My Barber Refuses To Perform A Much Needed Appendectomy

What happened to taking pride in your work? What happened to getting the job done? I thought I lived in a country of "doers" not "don'ters." I'm sitting here in excruciating pain due to my appendix bursting, I haven't had a haircut since February of last year, and I'm looking to schedule an appointment at a one stop shop for all of my slicing and dicing needs. Every place I've called said "No sir we've never done that before" or "I think you're confused" or "go back and die in the Civil War." I'm absolutely flabbergasted.

I told the ladies at Hair Cuttery over on Broadway that they can keep the dang thing as an ornament if they'd like. I told the jackass who answered the phone at Floyd's that I don't care how much it'll cost I just need an appendectomy and a fade. I even talked to Gabby, over at Gabby's, and she told me that I was acting real blabby.

If anybody knows a guy who'll remove my appendix, please, for the love of god, let me know. I'll pay a big tip if they've been to any type of barber or cosmetology school.

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