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22 New Things I Want To Try In 2022


We're a bit into the new year, but its never too late to set goals, strive for greatness and make life-altering decisions just because the calendar said so. So if you're looking for a new direction to take your life or just some simple goals, The Browmunity has decided to share some new things we want to try in 2022. Feel free to take a page from our book.


 

1. For 2022, I want to meditate more and be able to sit cross-legged for more than 10 minutes.


2. 2022 is the year that I start actually folding my clothes.


3. In 2020 Part 3, I hope to not get COVID. Again.


4. I plan to be more mindful, instead of body-full... of snacks.


5. I am going to start keeping a dream journal to further recognize my ambitions.


6. Speaking of dreams, this is the year I will befriend a monkey.


7. 2022 is the year of finding myself through cured meats.


8. This year I’m going to finally quit my job and join the circus’s janitorial staff.


9. I hope to cough in a restaurant and not be condemned by the entire restaurant as having the plague.


10. In 2022, I aim to be more socially awkward than a middle schooler with freshly-tightened braces. Gotta de-rust ye ol’ social skills, yo.


11. My dreams will become my reality once I learn how to dissociate from my body like in the block-buster movie, Insidious, obviously without the horror.


12. This 2022 I want to become a star, seriously you can buy a star and name it and I WANT THAT!

13. I want to tie-dye my entire wardrobe in a desperate attempt for a new identity as “that hip guy who wears tie-dye a bunch”.


14. I'm going to write and perform a 1-man show re-enacting the events of 2021’s The Suicide Squad, but entirely from the perspective of Weasel.


15. In this, the year of our lord two thousand and twenty two, I hope to pray less.



16. After such a busy and tumultuous 2020 and 2021, I plan to enjoy some me time in 2022. You know, just kick back, relax, download that Zoom everyone’s been talking about, and finally catch up on Tiger King.



17. My New Year’s resolution is to not have a New Year’s resolution, or goals, or hopes for the future. and/or care for my general wellbeing.



18. This year I stop being a plant murderer and uplift myself and my surroundings by creating a flourishing garden, or perhaps… fake plants.





19. I hope to donate to charities more. Particularly, The Foundation of Tiny Handed Horse Handlers who travel around the country maintaining hard working horse’s hooves/horseshoes, but suffer from cripplingly small hands. By donating to their cause, you can pay for their hand enlargement surgeries.


20. I want to start the “Found Jesus Diet” where I’m only allowed to eat foods that contain the the image of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. I can also heavily consume wine that I claim is water I just transformed.


21. I want to breed and train the next Air Bud.


22. Dive into the dark underground world of Zamboni drivers. Who are they? Where do they come from and how do they always show up with half the ice already re-coated? How do I apply? Is there a minimum DUI count needed? Do they have a secret society and greet each other with a special wink? All things I must learn this year.


 

-- contributions from Ashley T., Zach Rimkus, Ryan "Chewe" Gutchewsky, and Caleb Tackes

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