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'2021 Theme of the Summer is Ancient Egypt!' Announces President Joe Biden

Updated: May 6, 2022

June 1st, 2021, Washington DC--Early this morning President Joe Biden made an announcement wherein he, and his brain trust, unveiled the "Theme of the Summer." It was met with thunderous applause as President Biden made his opening statement. "May Ra shine down on you and your loved ones. May the many rivers of this great nation flow like the mighty Nile flows into the Mediterranean, bringing nutrients and wealth to the soils. And may the summer of 2021 be as righteous, off the hook, and radical, as Cairo was when Alexander the Great set off to conquer it in 332 B.C." Biden went on to explain how the last year of our lives has been chaotic, similar to the chaos which existed in the before time, before Ma'at, the Egyptian god of order and structure, created the world and gave way to all of Egypt's ancient society. He started rattling off about "time" and how the only sure way we can know that there is order within chaos is the continuous rising and setting of the sun. And how we must look to the sun and be thankful that Ra has gifted us with light and warmth, and we must look at our great lakes and intricate rivers and praise Hapi for their annual innundation. “And as time presses forward, so must we” Biden said in his closing remarks. “And we shall praise Osiris, the god of death, as we celebrate the most gnarly summer of our chaotic lives.”

What a way to celebrate the first day of June!

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