Updated: May 6, 2022
This is a monumental win for the community. Oliver Daemen, 18, is officially the first virgin to go to space. Moments like this prove to the world that you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it and stop focusing on sins of the flesh. "I was anxious about my first time, but, being surrounded by older, more experienced people, helped me feel safe and valued." Daemen said to a group of pious reporters at the landing site in west Texas. "It wasn't bad at all and I actually kind of liked it." The other crew members aboard Blue Origin's New Shepard rocket consisted of Jeff Bezos(57), his brother Mark Bezos(53), and American aviator Wally Funk(82), all of which agreed that 18 year old's are the ideal candidate for a job like this. "Get them any older and you're wasting my time." Said Jeff Bezos moments before popping open a bottle of champagne and spraying it all over Daemen's innocent face. The new 21st Century space race is truly an exciting thing to behold.