Illustrations by Jack Stephens
R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps inspired a generation of spooky campfire stories and late-night horrors that haunt children’s nightmares. However, these terrifying tales were always just make-believe, not real. Yet nearly 30 years after the first published novel, Goosebumps now seems more real than ever. The year 2020 has teased us with World War 3, recognized the legitimacy of extraterrestrial life, and seen the spread of a dangerous virus pandemic which has effectively changed the way we live— oh and we still have 7 months to go! We may just be living in a Goosebumps novel after all. So, let’s take a peek at what our new reality looks like through a reimagining of classic Goosebumps book covers updated for 2020…
THE DO-IT-YOURSELF HAIRCUT
“I’m sure it can’t be that hard to do…” he said moments before giving himself the world’s worst haircut.
THE CURSE OF THE SOLD-OUT TOILET PAPER
I've been wiping my ass with Kleenexes for the last 2 months!
WELCOME TO QUARANTINE HOUSE
No shame, no pants, no problem.
LET'S MASTURBATE!
"Whoa, I didn't know my hand could do that!" said thirteen year old's everywhere.
THE ATTACK OF THE RAGING KARENS
“Calling someone Karen is the equivalent of calling someone the N-word. Bok, Bok!” clucked the raging Karen.
STAY OUT OF THE GARDEN
“I am the Queen of the Green!” she shrieked at her freshly planted petunias.
WHY I'M AFRAID OF MURDER HORNETS
“What happens in Asia should stay in Asia!” he cried before and after being stung by the world’s largest Murder Hornet.
CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR...
Dwight Schrute is currently under investigation for bioterrorism.
A FLORIDA BEACH
You know what they say, hindsight is 2020.
THE EMPTY SCHOOL
Maybe teachers should be paid more...
DON'T FORGET TO WASH YOUR HANDS
Why do we have to remind you filthy monsters to wash your hands?
THE BARKING ZOOM CALL
Wow, your new coworker's a real chatty son of a bitch.
SAY CHEESE AND DIE MIDDLE CLASS
